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why am i so fat
eats 17 pizzas
eats 42 buckets of icecream
eats entire family
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This couple got wedding rings with the waveform of their own voices saying, “I do.”
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Charlotte Janay Godfrey
Reading all 134 pages of this blog is funny. Although, funny is a… funny word. I’d almost say that its left me feeling the opposite.
I read through the times when I ran 15k and swam 30 minutes a day without fail and would obsess over food
I read through the time I was in hospital
I read through the time when everyone in PA was my second family.
I read through the times before Emma passed away or we even knew she was ill.
I read the time I was gearing up to go to the MTA after sending my £300 deposit
I read through the time I had to stay an extra year for sixth form and the repercussions it had, missing all my friends that had gone to university, especially Perry.
I read through my obsessions with Princess Diana and Greys Anatomy
I read through the endless pages and pages of useless theatre posts and videos.
This blog provided me with a creative outlet for a long period of time. A way for me to rant and rave and have a secret dig at people I cared too much about to be able to tell them in person. I would constantly post about my worries about going to university or drama school even though, at that time, I felt like I was going to be the best there and sail through. How things have changed. I look back at those posts and just wish that I could be as secretly confident in my abilities and I wonder what it is that has changed my mentality. I visit posts from almost three years ago - and its constant ravings about a new musical I’ve found out about. Pieces that people at my college are only now finding out about. I miss being obsessed with musicals and staying up until 4am researching and finding new material, telling myself that I have the depth and emotional maturity to perform it. I miss being that knowledgable and confident with performing and theatre as a whole. Am I not as driven? Or maybe not as naive? Either way, I’m going to start blogging again because its a good reminder of times, people and obsessions that have passed, and hopefully get back up to my 500 odd followers I had before!
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